Monday, February 03, 2003
Last night we arrived without a hitch. Our plan to not drink on the plane was foiled, but nobody got hurt.
We checked into the bed & breakfast. It is gorgeous. The place is called Villa Feliz (pronounced via felleece). I never understood the Spanish habit of putting, not one, but two silent letters in the same word but never mind, the place is beautiful and our host, Jaime (pronounced hay-mee) is an immaculate host. I feel like Aristotle Onassis and Chad is my Jackie O. We have complete run of the place until Friday.
My boss kindly padded my pocket with 500 pesos, so Lovi and I went for a bottle of wine and a chateaubriand at a nice restaurant. It was nice to be sitting on a patio.
Then we walked for a bit and saw a place with a rainbow flag, so we popped in and had two big assed marguerites; "drag queen sized" as Lovi put it.
We met a really nice older guy, Jim, and took him with us for a drink at Paco Paco. There, we met two guys, Troy and Anthony, who we had seen at the restaurant earlier. I'm pretty sure I could have talked them into a threesome, but Lovi was cramping my style.
Making our way back to the villa was like the Special Olympics of getting home. I accused Chad of not knowing where the fuck he was going. He bet me $500 that he would get me home, and he did. I'm trying to convince him that the bet was in pesos.
I woke up at 3:30 a.m. with a beer in front of me. I was out on the patio in the sitting area. I was sooooo warm and comfortable. I eventually dragged my ass into bed. GOOD GOD, IT'S ONLY DAY 1!!
We got out of bed early. It was before 7:00 and it was still dark outside. Jackie O made me a coffee.
I'm starting to secretly think that Chad may not be very smart. Last night, we were approached on the street by a young guy, who apparently was a walking pharmacy, and offered to sell us coke, weed or ecstasy. We declined, but afterward, Chad said he thought it was weird that we were approached like that down here. HELLO!! IT'S MEXICO!! I asked him where he thought drugs came from and I think the coin dropped.
It's now 8:45 a.m. We're having a beer and relaxing. Weevie out.
Tuesday, February 04, 2003
Took us awhile to get going yesterday but we went for a long walk. We stopped at a market and I bought a few tank tops. Then we went to the blue chairs in search of Dirt, but alas, she was no where to be seen. We found a couple of seats and baked in the sun for a bit. We had a marguerita and came back to the villa for a swim and a nap.
Then we went for dinner on a the patio of a small Mexican restaurant. It was a total carb and grease fest, but it was wonderful. Burritos and tacos and salsa. We hired a trio of guitarists to play Guantanamera for us. I know it's cheesy, but they did a really good job. The one guy was a really good player. His fingers went on parts of the neck I didn't know were possible.
Then we went and picked up some booze (mmm boooooze smack smack smack) and dropped it off at the villa.
We went to the rooftop of Hotel Descanso del Sol to watch the sunset. It was truly breathtaking. And not just from the scenery, but we had to climb about 10 sets of stairs to get there. Let me tell you folks, PV is not for the feeble. Everything is up hill, both ways, and they don't believe in elevators.
It takes a day or two to get adjusted to the surroundings. The first day, you see a speck of dust on the wall and you speculate that it could be a vicious Tse Tse fly that could fly over and rip your arm off. Don't let the size fool you!
Anyway, the crowd at del Sol proved to be less than exciting, so we headed over to Frida which is a little Canadian-owned pub designed around the movie of the same name with Selma Hayek. Nice place, but it was mostly an older crown. So we went back to Los Amigos (the place from the first night). We met the owner. He was really friendly and he even chased us down the stairs when we were leaving to give us his card.
Then we went back to Paco Paco on the roof and decided that we were a little too tired to be any good. So we called it a night. A very drunk man gooney-goo-gooed all over us which also kind of clinched it for us.
On the way home, Chad took me too a taco stand (very similar to our hot dog stands) and I had the best taco ever. I'm so glad they don't have those here or I'd be 300 pounds.
Oh my God, Lovi was so drunk. I don't even think he was speaking English. We ate the tacos, (well, I ate mine, Bob just kind of mashed his into his face as best as he could). The worst part is, I have no sense of direction down here and I had to rely on him to get me home. But we made it, safe and sound.
Tonight we're heading over to Paco's Ranch for a bbq. Still no sign of Dirt. 9:00 - Weevie out.
Wednesday, February 05, 2003
Yesterday, after a couple of hours of lounging, we went for a walk and found a little out-door rotisserie chicken place. Well, talk about language barrier. This guy didn't understand us and we didn't understand him. And they only had one thing on the menu, chicken, and we know how to say that! Finally, he just threw some stuff in a bag and said, I'm sure, the Spanish equivalent of, "Go away kids, you bother me!"
So, we took our food home after a stop for juice and water. Oh my God, there was so much food and it was so yummy. We put half of it in the fridge.
We hung around the villa for a bit and then got to Paco Paco around 6:00 to get the bus to the ranch. We road in a rickety old bus out to the middle of know where, past a prison. I was a little nervous. In the washroom, I saw a spider as big as my hand. But it turned out to be okay. We waded in the hot springs and ate a huge, delicious bbq dinner.
Chico Bob proved he was a man by wrestling a giant hot pepper down his gullet. Actually, he brought it back for me, but I turned it down, so he put it on his plate. It was really dark and I guess he picked the thing up in a flat bread with his meat and he ate the WHOLE THING.
So there he is, gasping for breath and beer, and he looks at me and says, "Wow Weeve, that salsa is really hot!" Now, I admit that I'm a little better with spicy food than most of us gringos, but it wasn't spicy at all. I was drinking it out of the cup and let me tell you, ketchup had more bite.
After a little brilliant forensic work, we saw the pepper was gone. And it wasn't small either. IT WAS HUGE!
After dinner, Bob went back in the host springs and said, "I hope I don't get cramps!" We were surrounded by old naked guys with body-piercings and I thought he said "Gramps". Well, you can see how it would be confusing.
Anyway, we went back on the bus and were joined on the ride by Paco himself. Paco is the owner of several places in Puerto Vallarta, including Paco Paco, Paco's Hot Springs and Paco's island. He was very congenial.
On the trip back, I told all my stupid jokes you guys are so sick of. We got off the bus and everybody ran away, except this one guy from L.A. who took a shine to me. He looked like he had a nice body. Not the prettiest but he didn't make me want to barf. So I made him look better with some beers. Here's the clincher folks - he's 44 years old. Yep, after years of chicken-hawking, I'm officially a granny scooper.
We went to a new club near our villa and had some drinks but it was dead so Lovi dropped us off at the villa and went out gallivanting. He came back and graciously took the couch like the gentlemen he is.
Anyway, tired today.
We met Lois today, she's the owner of the villa. Sweet lady
Friday, February 07, 2003
You'll notice we skipped a day, but this will all be explained in this entry. Suffice to say, the search for Dirt has ended.
Wednesday, we spent the day lounging at the Blue Chairs. We came home and relaxed for a bit. Then we went and had Mahi Mahi at the River café. I'm starting to think it's not possible to get a bad meal down here.
Then we went and had a few beers on a balcony at Los Balcones. We were tired and it looked like were just going to have another beer and go home, when all of a sudden, I heard this loud nanny-goat cackle directly underneath us. I jumped up and yelled "Dirty!!!" So she came up and there we all were screaming and hugging and laughing.
Dirt's friends, Sumiko, Gord, Fausto and Tony, were all a hoot. We instantly clicked and Chad and I went from falling asleep to full on party mode in a matter of seconds.
We went dancing at Paco Paco and had a few drinks on the rooftop. Then we all got in taxis and made our way out to their condo. We partied on into the wee hours of the morning and crashed at their place.
Yesterday we got up and spent the entire day on the beach at there resort. It was a beautiful private beach and we weren't harassed by vendors all day. We had lunch at a little beach restaurant. Chad and I went home around 5:00 to freshen up and relax for a few hours.
Then around 8:30, we went to this exquisite restaurant call Le Bistro. It was outdoors, under a bridge, with a trickling river beside us. Chad had lobster and I had steak and shrimp. The shrimp down here are good and they're so fuckin' big!
Then we went to Los Amigos, but it was too hot, so we went to Paco Paco. We had a few tequilas and got giggly. Around 1:30, we hadn't seen the gang and I decided to go home.
I left Chad to his devices, but I think today he wishes he had gone home with me (hee hee hee). He ended up finding the boys (the girls stayed home) and he stayed out until 5:00 a.m. It was fun watching him get going today. It ended up just being Charlene (Lois's friend from Portland) and I for breakfast, but we made the best of it.
Finally, Chad got moving and we hung around the pool for a bit. We ended up having a great conversation with Lois and Charlene. They are two great ladies. We got some pics and traded cards and stuff.
Today I'm in a stellar mood and I'm sitting here in the sun, drinking a beer and generally enjoying the last few days. 1:10 p.m. Weevie out.
Tuesday February 11, 2003
Good morning folks, we're back now, but I missed a few days so I'm just going to finish up the diary.
We spent most of Friday afternoon around the pool drinking. It was our last day of having the place to ourselves. Two couples from San Francisco came in, in the afternoon. They were nice people. Jaime was making them their welcome drink and decided that we needed one too! WOO-HOO!!
After everyone went to find their rooms, Bob got Jaime a beer and a tequila. After drinking them, he looked at us and said, "Oh, I'm so drunk!" He is a really sweet guy.
We went out and walked around for a bit a bit. We came back to the villa and met two guys from Minneapolis. We had a drink with them and then we went out to look for some dinner.
Outside of Frida, we found another taco stand and we pigged out big time. We'd look over and someone would have something good and we'd say, "What are they havin'? Give us two of those!"
Then we went into Frida for a drink but we were both really tired. We went home and Chad went to bed. I stayed up and had a beer and watched the news for a bit and then joined him.
On Saturday morning, we got up and had breakfast with our new villa-mates. We had some fun and lively conversation.
Then after a bit we went for a swim. We had a couple of beers and decided we should get out and do some shopping before we got lazy.
We went out and bought some souvenirs and stuff to bring home. Then we went to a little out door restaurant and had some shrimp skewers. I had to have them one more time before we went home. They were amazing.
Again, we went home for even MORE relaxation and got into the tequila. Hey it's our last night!! While we were lounging by the pool, Jaime brought in some new people and he had the house boy bring us ANOTHER welcome drink. I've never felt so welcome in my life!
For dinner we went to the Red cabbage, which came highly recommended by Jaime and our Lois, but we weren't very impressed. We did, however, meet these two guys, Bob and David from Chicago. They were a really nice couple and we had a great conversation with them.
We left them and went out to Paco Paco for one last time. I had a few tequila, but was really tired. So again, I left Chad. The poor dear ended up having another late night.
Sunday morning, we packed up our stuff and waited around until it was time to go to the airport. Jaime called us a taxi and we gave him a hug and said our good-byes. He looked like he was going to cry.
Chad and I were both hangin' like Tom Dooley. We barely said a word to each other all the way to the airport.
We got checked in at the airport and found a little lounge and had a few beers before getting on the plane. Met these girls from Calgary and had a bit of a chat with them. We ended up having to sit apart, which was probably for the best.
Got downtown around 8:00 and went straight to 501 for a bit. I'm home now, recovering from a bout of Montezuma's Revenge, but at least I wasn't sick on the trip! All in all, a good time was had by all. 9:10 a.m. Weevie out.